Good in Goodbye
by CrazyLove345
Summary: Sometimes life leads you down a different road when you're holding on to someone that you gotta let go...Lucian oneshot. Based off of 'Good in Goodbye' By Carrie Underwood.


**Hey everybody. I have been brainstorming this for some time now and after a push from some very persistent people on twitter, I finally got to writing my second Lucian fanfic. **

**Good in Goodbye is based off of a song from the new album _Blown Away _by the always beautiful and one of my core role models, Carrie Underwood. And when I first heard the lyrics, I thought it was a genuinely heartbreaking song. Then I started to listen a bit more intently and realized that its core meaning is that not all goodbyes are bad. Some may turn out to be better than some may think. **

**Reviews will be very much appreciated. Please constructive criticism and no burning! **

**Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Lucy or Ian. This is simply an innocent story about the 'good' in a goodbye.**

* * *

_I heard you laughing in a crowd_

_Outside a restaurant we used to go to_

_I caught a glimpse that stopped me in my tracks_

_It took me back_

* * *

Lucy didn't know how she found herself at that side of Los Angeles. She hadn't been there in over five years. Why go there now? There were too many memories for her and they overwhelmed her like the waves crashing on the Pacific coast the moment she stepped out of the cab, her long brunette hair rustling in the cool May breeze. She paid the cab driver and as soon as the tiny yellow car was out of sight, she looked around and took in the surrounding area. Memories were abundant at this end of town. The old Warner Bros. lot was just half a mile away.

Maybe he wouldn't even be in the area; maybe he moved to a different state. After all, he moved onto bigger and better things after _Pretty Little Liars _ended. Last time she heard, he was in New York while filming for his latest lead role in a romantic-comedy. That was three months ago, though. The movie was set to premiere was in a couple of weeks and she was invited to go by one of his castmates, but she didn't think she was going to attend the red carpet event. She would feel so out of place there.

And it was hard enough to see posters of him plastered around downtown, let alone seeing him face to face for the first time in almost six years.

She wondered how he was. She knew he'd gotten married to a woman he met overseas almost three years ago. From what she heard, the wedding had been one of a kind; just like the groom. Apparently, it'd been on the beach, in the sunset with his new girl, with a simple ceremony and outfit, which was expected since he was not one to go all out for special occasions. She didn't know if he was a father yet and frankly, she didn't want to know. The thought of him lying in bed with someone else other than her, making sweet love to them and making another life with one simple motion, brought a soar of bitterness and jealousy into her throat and it burned her like a flame.

Lucy was busy herself; she was starring in a new TV series for the _CW. _It was one of the lead roles and she had two different callbacks. Filming started two months ago and she enjoyed it even though it was so much different than when she was with him, the man she couldn't ever seem to get off of her mind. Kissing her love interest on the new teen hit show was nothing compared to what she felt with Ian.

Ian.

The mention of his name was almost too much for her to bear and she had to lean against the lamp post to keep her stance steady.

Everything that she'd been trying to forget about him came rushing back to her in one simple moment. The way his hair curled at the bangs no matter how long or short it was. The way his dark blue eyes glimmered with friendliness and affection every time he looked at her. How he skipped around the Warner Bros. lot at three in the morning during filming season for _Pretty Little Liars. _How he made his coffee: regular with two sugars and half a cream. His favorite downtime show was _Girls _on HBO. His music and book tastes were all over the place. He hated being considered a teen heartthrob. He loved his fans almost as much as he said he loved her the day they went their separate ways.

Separate ways. She still couldn't believe they ended their relationship the way that they did. They had planned to stay in touch and then…

The universe just didn't want that to happen. The universe tore their relationship apart. She never got that call that she had been waiting on. The one that could've changed everything.

He wasn't the most open person with his feelings unless he was with Lucy. Every time they were together in those two and a half years, he just poured his heart out to her about anything and everything in his life. They were best friends and lovers. She could curl up in his arms and just lie her head on his chest and that would be fine. Her life felt complete with him there.

Now they weren't anything to one another except a couple hundred good memories.

Lucy didn't regret a thing about her relationship with him. He had been her safe place to land for years prior to their romantic fling. He didn't pressure her into anything she didn't want to do. He was laid back and content with just chilling in his apartment with music and a book to read. He was a relaxed person whose biggest adventure was leaving home to go to a bookstore.

Unless it was to try his always interesting cooking; that was when he was a bit more persistent with her…

_I don't regret it  
The time we had together  
I won't forget it  
But we both ended up where we belong_

_Five and a half years earlier…September 3rd, 2014_

Ian held a spoonful of beans in front of Lucy, his smile radiant against his pale skin, his short curls hidden by the tightly-knitted beanie that sat snugly on his head, "Come on, baby. Just one little taste. After all my birthday is in thirteen days. This could be a very early present."

Lucy shook her head and shoved the spoon away from her, "Ian, I'm not eating that. I don't even know what is in it. I've seen your spice cupboard. Who in the hell knows what is on all of those beans? No, I'm not going to do it. Even if you are almost twenty-eight."

Her boyfriend sighed and plopped the beans back down into the pot that sat on his kitchen stove. He went to the other side of the counter and took her hands in her own. He frowned, his eyebrows creasing together, "Will my singing help you make your decision? I rather like the rendition of 'Bless the Broken Road' by Rascal Flatts."

She shook her head desperately, "No, no, no, no, no, no. Please don't feel the need to sing-"

It was too late. He was already on a roll, his voice purposely off pitch and key, "_Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart were like northern stars, pointing my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you." _The melody was so off, it was too high on the last note and his voice ended up cracking, causing both of them to laugh, leaning against one another.

"Please never do that again. Damn, how do your neighbors even deal with you?" She giggled and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Before she completely pulled away, his head turned and soon his lips were softly against her own.

The kiss was short, but it was enough for Lucy to be left breathless. The way Ian kissed her was like bursting through the surface of a body of water and gasping for air. It was like a realization and a new beginning every time their lips met. And there was no doubt that he knew how to kiss her after all the Ezra and Aria makeout scenes they had had to film in all those years of the show. He knew what she liked and every way that her lips moved. He kept his hand on the small of her back and the other stroking her cheek gently with his fingers.

When they separated, Ian leaned his forehead against hers, his musky and sweet-smelling breath on her face, "Would you like to try those beans now?" He gave her another peck on the mouth, his eyes wide and mischievous, "Or do I have to keep singing in my wonderful voice?"

"Oh God no. Anything but that. I never want to hear you sing like that again." Lucy teased him before sighing goodheartedly, her hand caressing the back of his neck, twining the tips of her fingers into the baby hairs, "Just give me a tiny bit. I don't feel like dying tonight."

"That's the spirit!" The twenty-seven year old man bouncily exclaimed and he laughed as he gave her a kiss on the forehead before shooting back to the stove. He scooped up three of the seasoned beans onto a teaspoon and held it out to her, his wide boyish grin on his face, "Don't chew it right away. To get the full effect, you've got to let it sit in your mouth for a couple of moments and then you may chew it."

"Okay, Chef Harding. I understand." She giggled and then took the three beans into her mouth. She was hit with an overwhelming sensation of an assortment of spices. What threw her off the most was that she tasted cinnamon; yet, it surprisingly tasted good. Then again, everything he cooked seemed to have just a tad bit of cinnamon underneath the main flavor.

Ian was waiting impatiently for her critique on his creation, his long fingers drumming the grayish-blue granite of the counter top, "So, what do you think?"

She finally began to chew and then swallowed as soon as they were soft enough. She looked at him with a mockingly shocked expression, "That was actually good, Ian. It was _really _good." She paused before asking, "What are these for exactly?"

He shrugged and hopped up onto the counter and swung his legs around so he was sitting right above her, "Well, I know how much you love my cooking, especially when I use that one special ingredient that makes you go insane." He raised an eyebrow at her then chuckled.

She leaned up so then their lips were just a few inches apart, her breath on his face, rustling his hair, "And what would that ingredient be? Love?"

"How original. What Disney movie did you get that one from?" He murmured with a slight smile, "I was going to say cinnamon but love works too." He pressed another kiss to her lips, only this time it was dragged out and heavy, his tongue tracing her bottom lip as the embrace deepened and their hands really began to move….

* * *

_Sometimes life leads you down a different road_

_When you're holding on to someone_

_That you gotta let go_

* * *

_Present day…May 20th, 2020_

The flashback was broken into a bunch of pieces like a picture breaking in its frame by an all too familiar noise sounding from outside an old restaurant; a deep hearted laugh that rung in the air as if it were music. Their old restaurant. He took her there after work for those four years that _Pretty Little Liars _was filming. They always ordered the same thing: a veggie burger with a side of homemade seasoned fries. Sometimes they split a hot fudge sundae and fought over the cherry. He would let her win. He could never stand to watch her pout for more than three seconds.

She followed the noise so far it took her to the outside gate of the eating area. There near the window was a man with dark brown hair that curled the slightest bit above his forehead in the short bangs. His skin was still pale, unlike most actors and actress who insisted on getting a spray tan every week. He wore a simple t-shirt and pair of faded wash blue jeans, a gray hoodie hanging over the back of his chair. A Yankees baseball hat sat firmly on his head. His dark blue eyes glimmered in the cool sunlight of May.

Lucy's almond-gray gaze switched over to who he was sitting next to that was causing him to laugh. It wasn't a woman.

It was a little girl.

She must have been his daughter. Those light waves in her short chocolate brown hair and the twinkle in her navy eyes were too hard to ignore. She looked young; not any more than two years old. He cheeks were rosy and plump, radiating her youth. Her outfit was baby overalls over a peach covered onesie, white tennis shoes covering her tiny feet. A visor covered her fragile face from the sun.

Ian tickled his daughter's tummy and the toddler let out a long-string of giggles, her smile radiant against her skin. It was an adorable scene and Lucy watched as Ian took the little girl into his arms to give her a fat kiss on the cheek, affection clear on his facial expression.

She wondered if he enjoyed being a father. They talked about having a child once if they ever got married. They agreed on a name for both genders: Brea Grace and Carter Michael. He had said that if he ever became a father, especially to a daughter, he would give that child the whole world. He was raised with two military parents and was drilled with how to be a good provider for his family. He would be the best father, he always said, the best the world has ever seen.

Lucy watched the whole thing, a new feeling setting on her as she gazed at the two enjoy their lunch together; their father-daughter time. She couldn't but ask where the child's mother was. His wife. She didn't know if she would be able to handle seeing them all together, as a family. After all, she always thought that she would be the woman that would be in his arms, carrying his child for nine months before giving birth to the mini her or a mini him and welcoming him or her into the big new world.

It was crazy how she still wanted that.

That was when she remembered seeing an obituary in the paper two years ago. A young woman died giving birth to her daughter, leaving her stricken husband to raise the child on his own. The last name was Harding. It could only be Ian. She couldn't even imagine the grief he must have gone through. Losing his wife to such a death; ending one life to bring in another.

She bet that he cherished that little girl more than anything else in the world.

He gave the toddler another kiss on the top head before he stood and swung her on top of his shoulders. His eyes were light and filled with warmth and love as he listened to his daughter squeal in excitement and happiness. She didn't want to ruin in the father-daughter time that they had together. That would selfish of her to do. But this was the first time seeing him in almost six years and she didn't want it to end. So she stood there.

Waiting for just some kind of recollection that he saw her.

* * *

_You looked happy with that little girl on your shoulders, happy_

_I know where she got those crystal eyes of blue_

_Time's been sweet to you_

* * *

Ian wasn't one to look back on the past that he left behind. Especially when that past was so hard to leave behind in the first place. He never wanted to leave it the way it was, but that was the way things had to be at the time. He was always waiting on that call, that one call that would change his mind and bring him back into her arms, but it never came. Not a ring, not a text, not a word.

What did come was a handful of opportunities for him. His agent got him a couple of hard hitting auditions for three different movies. He landed two of them, one a minor role and one the lead. Both projects led from one thing to another. He went filming in New York, LA, England, Italy, Ireland, and Spain. He traveled Europe in those few months, finding that his German wasn't as off as he once thought.

His fans stuck behind him with everything he did. Though it was harder for him to write back to some of his thousands of fans when he received fan mail. There was just so much of it now. So much more than when he had been on _Pretty Little Liars. _His old fans stuck by him the most. They still wore 'I 3 Mr. Fitz' shirts and he would always be grateful to them. It reminded him of the great push he received from being on the teen drama for four years, five seasons.

2017 had been his year. That was when he had met his wife. A native born English woman with only a slight British accent to her quiet but empowering voice. Her name was Annabel Willard and she impacted his life almost immediately. They met on a trolley car while he was touring London and she actually saved him the embarrassment of being the clueless tourist. He eventually worked up the nerve to ask her out while he was still in town. One thing led to another before he finally convinced her to go back with him to the states.

They dated for a little over a year before he finally popped the question. They had gone back and forth between continents and apartments and he was finally ready to settle down with her. He truly had believed that he loved her. Not as much as he had his previous lover, but he gradually felt himself getting over the heartbreak of losing her.

The wedding was barely a month after he proposed. The couple had wanted to get it out of the way. It was private with only a handful of family and close friends on the coast. Annabel suggested inviting Lucy, but Ian wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't ever let that happen in a million years. Even though they had been close friends, there was too much unsaid between them and he didn't want his wedding day to be filled with the conversation that he had been waiting to happen for two years.

The wedding was simple and it was over within a couple of minutes, leading to a two hour reception. Then the newlyweds went on a honeymoon in London, staying at a fancy four-star hotel. They visited Annabel's family while they were there. It was almost six weeks after the two returned home to their cozy little two-bedroom apartment Los Angeles that they were going to have a baby.

Except there had been a problem. Annabel didn't know that she had a certain condition that if she were to ever have a baby, she wouldn't survive the birth. No matter how much the doctors pushed her to terminate the pregnancy. She refused to kill her child, her and Ian's baby. She didn't want her last thing in life to be ending another.

The nine months had been harder than most. Ian didn't go to work for half a year just so he could cherish the few moments he had with his wife. Even when the day came, he wasn't ready to watch his wife be rolled out of a hospital room with a white sheet over her head on the way to the morgue.

All that changed when they placed his newborn daughter in his arms for the first time.

She weighed about seven pounds and six ounces. She had her mother's rosy cheeks and long eyelashes, but other than that, no one could tell him and her apart. There was no doubt in the world that he was the father to such a miracle. She distracted him from the new wounds of losing her mother. He named her Brea Grace, the name that he always wanted for his daughter.

Though her mother had been different in his mind when he first voiced it….

* * *

_We both ended up where we belong_

_I guess goodbye made us strong_

_And yeah I'm happy_

* * *

_Five and a half years earlier…..September 4th, 2014_

Ian leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Luc's sweaty forehead as they lied together bare and vunerable, only covered with a sheet and tangled in musky skin. She blinked happiness and love at him and he was taken aback yet again on how strong his feelings were for her. He was so deeply in love with her that sometimes even he couldn't even figure out how strong his feelings for her were.

Lucy rested her head on his bare chest, her fingers tracing patterns on his stomach, "I've been thinking, Ian…"

'What about, Goose?"

She giggled at the old nickname that the cast and crew of _Pretty Little Liars _had tagged her with for those four years of filming. Most had dropped it, but her boyfriend and best friend still called her by it because that was how he knew her best, "We've talked about getting married before, right?"

He nodded, kissing her long locks of hair as he remembered their previous conversations on the subject, "Are you asking me to propose to you right now, Goose? Or do you want to wait until I can actually present more than just a bologna ring?"

This brought another string of laughter, except this time it was shared and they cuddled closer to one another, "Well, after what just happened between us, I have been thinking about it even more." She turned to face him, giving the tip of his nose a press of her lips as she gazed at him, "I want to marry you. Not right now or tomorrow, but someday. Someday I want to be able to stand in a church in a wedding dress and see you waiting for me at the end of the aisle."

He blinked sleepily and lovingly at her, nodding slowly, "I've dreamt of that since the moment you agreed to finally go out on a date with me."

"So, not if, but _when _we get married, what do you want to name your-_our- _children?"

Now this caught him off guard, but he shook it off in a moment's time, "Well, you said that you wanted to name a little girl Brea Grace….Original and classy. Beautiful even." He smiled softly, "I want to be a father. Especially to your children. I want to be able to look back and say that I did a good job with him or her. A little girl especially. I want to say that I had the ability to be the best father the world has ever seen."

Ian thought he saw a tear in Lucy's hazel eyes, but then it was gone with a blink of an eye, so he must have just imagined it, "How about for a baby boy?"

"Carter Michael. Carter has always been one of my favorite names and Michael…well we both know that's my middle name. He would be like his daddy."

She thought about it for a moment and then beamed a beautiful grin, her brunette hair falling in a gorgeous mess around her angelic face, "I love it. Brea and Carter. Children of Ian and Lucy Harding." She kissed the tip of his nose again before cuddling closer to him and taking his hand in her own, "I love you, Ian."

He closed his heavy eyes and breathed in the sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo, "I love you, too, Lucy." He murmured into her hair, cherishing the moment he had her alone and in his arms, keeping her pressed to him. He wished he could've frozen the scene right there and just stayed there forever, "_God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."_

* * *

_I found somebody too who makes me happy_

_And I knew one day I'll see you on the street_

_And it'd be bittersweet_

* * *

_Present day…May 20th, 2020_

The flashback broke as he caught someone staring at him and Brea from the corner of his eye. He turned in the direction of the front of the restaurant. There stood a radiant woman. Her hair was long and dark brunette. She wore a light turquoise blouse and beige Capri's with tan sandals around her tiny six sized feet.

She was staring at him with those all too familiar hazel eyes. She was waiting for something. What was she waiting for? A hello, a goodbye, an answer?

What was left to say between them was too late to be said. He did everything he could to leave her behind, to forgot what once was. Though he never had much luck. He loved her then and he still loved her now. It was different. It wasn't the intense passion he felt for her almost six years ago. It was the love he'd felt for her all those years they'd been best friends: castmates, script study buddies, tennis partners….Not lovers. Not boyfriend and girlfriend. Soulmates that were torn apart.

The day they said goodbye was the day he knew he would lose her. It was his own fault for taking that job. Maybe if he hadn't, maybe if he had just called her that one time, then things would be different. Maybe they would've gotten married like they had planned. Maybe they would've had a Brea and a Carter. Maybe they would've done a project together. The whole situation now was a maybe or a what if…

Lucy continued to stare at him and Brea, who sat on his shoulders, pointed and waved at the woman. She cracked a beautiful smile, _the smile _that made his heart race every damn time he saw it, and returned the wave. He joined in with his daughter and shot her a sad grin of his own.

He realized then that maybe what happened with them half a decade ago was for the best. Maybe he took that job for a reason. Maybe that was what the universe had wanted all along. Maybe he was meant to live his life apart from her. To meet Annabel and have Brea in his life. To raise his daughter on his own and enjoy every day he had with her while she was still so little.

Lucy looked happy. She looked like she was content with what happened and what didn't happen between them. After all, the man holding her hand at the moment didn't look like he was just there for show. From what he could see, Ian saw love between the two of them.

It was bittersweet in a strange kind of way.

It was bitter because he always thought that he would be the one holding her hand on the street, strolling along, eating veggie burgers and seasoned fries. He dreamed of being with her again and he wanted to fulfill his promise of being the one waiting for her at the end of a church aisle, watching her father walk her down it while she looked _immortal _in the white wedding dress that draped from her petite body. He wanted her to be round with _his _child. He wanted to be the one she made love to. And that was a feeling that would never go away.

It was sweet because even though he wanted all of that, they were both happy. He was successful and accomplished all he had ever wanted to achieve. He may have lost his wife and he would always miss her, but through the two years they were together brought with a beautiful joy; a bouncing baby girl who was the light of his whole world. Lucy looked _happy. Genuinely happy. _The way her smile was against her dark skin and the way her hair shone in the spring light. He was stunned at how magnificent she looked, even after all these years. He knew that if there was anything he wanted was to see her enriched with all that life had to offer.

Ian and Lucy's gazes locked and they shared smiles as they both remembered all that was said and unsaid between them. She waved one last time before turning with her companion, walking down the sidewalk leaning against him, her arm looped through his. He watched them go and Lucy glanced back at him and Brea. He smiled and caught the kiss that she blew in their direction as she turned the corner and out of sight.

He whispered to himself, "Bye, Goose." The name was foreign yet strangely familiar as it fell from his lips. It'd been years since the last time he said it.

Ian was happy.

Lucy was happy.

They had both moved on with their lives even if meant not being with each other like they had planned.

_Maybe there was good in goodbye after all…._

* * *

_Someday you'll see the reason why_

_Sometimes, yeah sometimes,_

_There's good in goodbye_


End file.
